E.M.O.T.I.O.N.S
In my career and life journey, I have experienced pivotal transitions and met people who have also navigated significant life changes. One common experience shared by all is a wave of emotions that cannot be defined, along with the vulnerability that accompanies them.
The emotions commonly felt by people range from shock to acceptance.
I recall the first time I experienced an unplanned career transition; I remember feeling a range of emotions simultaneously. From denial, to fear, anger, sadness, optimism, and then disappointment. You get the feelings of low and high almost simultaneously. I mostly felt confused and unable to describe my feelings. To make it worse, I felt shame for having those feelings.
I genuinely thought I was having a mental breakdown until I found the techniques that helped me cope through this transition and subsequent career and life transitions.
Before I delve into these techniques, it is essential to recognize that emotions vary from person to person, and each individual’s response to transition is dependent on their personality, the cause of the transition, or the timing of the transition. Remember that no matter how difficult the transition is, we can manage the emotions that come with it.
1. First, acknowledge the emotion. As easy as it sounds, this step may be the most difficult to achieve. What makes it particularly difficult is that numerous emotions coincide, which can be overwhelming and confusing.
Key point: The best approach is to stay calm, think through the emotions, and articulate how you feel.
2. Second, understand that emotions, although real, are reactions to a stimulus. All emotions have triggers, and as long as you focus on the triggers, the emotions remain and may sometimes escalate.
Key point: Shift your focus to something that will trigger positive emotions. It could be as simple as taking a walk, going to the gym, listening to soul-lifting songs, practicing gratitude, meditation, finding a mentor, or leaning on your support system. It could be anything; find what works for you and shift your attention to it.
3. Third, the emotions are delicate, and how you handle them matters. I once heard a story of 10 employees who were laid off at the same time. All had spent over 10 years in the company they worked for. They were all impacted by the same unexpected transition and, as expected, had adverse reactions to the news. A check on them a year later revealed that two of them had started new jobs, another two started businesses that were thriving, one had started early retirement and was travelling the world, three were unsure of what to do next, and the last two were battling depression. One event, an initial similar response, different outcomes. The various outcomes are directly related to how each individual perceived, interpreted, and managed the initial emotion.
Key point: Perception drives our ability to manage emotions. Is your glass half-empty or half-full?
4. Fourth, your ecosystem. What types of people do you have in your ecosystem? Positive or negative people? Are they people who will constantly remind you of the challenges or encourage you to take a step forward? Are they people that help organize your pity party or are they there to get you out of your pity party?
Key point: The people and material you expose yourself to during transitions matter. Some bear good news, some don’t, and others fuel anxiety. Choose your ecosystem wisely. Intentionally ensuring a positive and safe space will make transitions easier and quicker.
5. Lastly, face reality, leave your past behind. You can’t embrace the new opportunities and adventures life has to offer you if you keep longing for the old thing. The earlier you come to realize that what you are leaving behind is your past, the quicker you will be able to transition into your new phase.
Key point: that door is closed, it’s time to move on.
To new chapters and bold transitions,
Tolu Rogers, Ph.D.
Career & Life Transition Coach | Helping you navigate transitions with clarity, confidence, and purpose.