Ray & Emma

What happened to Ray?

Ray and Emma had waited a long time for a forever family. Their basic needs were met in their foster home, but something was still missing: tenderness, affection, and a sense of belonging. Every time a potential family came by, Ray and Emma would perk up with hope, as if saying, “Pick us.” But time and again, they were overlooked.

Then, one bright Sunday afternoon in May, a family finally chose them. They were welcomed with love, given everything they could need, and placed in a beautiful new habitat. Emma was instantly at home, curious, playful, soaking it all in. Ray, too, seemed excited… at first.

But as evening fell, something shifted. Ray began to withdraw. He stopped engaging, wouldn’t eat, and seemed distant. The family gave him space, assuming he was just tired from all the changes. But by the next day, it was clear: Ray wasn’t adjusting.

Emma, meanwhile, was thriving. She played nonstop, explored every corner, and even tried to pull Ray into the fun. But he couldn’t join in. He grew quieter with each passing day. Less than a week later, Ray was gone.

Heartbroken, the family made the tough decision to re-home Emma.

Now, here’s the twist: Ray and Emma were crickets. Yes, crickets. We bought them for my daughter’s science project. And yet, their story stayed with me.

Same environment. Same care. Two totally different outcomes. One adapted. The other couldn’t.

It reminded me that, as humans, we also respond differently to change. Some of us leap forward with curiosity and resilience. Others freeze, shut down, or fade under the weight of transition. We all carry our own wiring, our own stories. Adapting doesn’t come naturally to everyone, and that’s okay.

But Ray’s story gently nudged me: in times of change, we have a choice. To resist or to receive. To hold on to the familiar, or open ourselves to what's new, even if it’s uncomfortable at first.

Change is rarely easy. But the way we meet it can make all the difference.

Let's remember that our decision is critical to our survival. Choose to live!

To new chapters and bold transitions,

Tolu Rogers, Ph.D.

Career & Life Transition Coach | Helping you navigate transitions with clarity, confidence, and purpose.