Denial. "Pretending Nothing Happened"
The year was 2000. We had just been ushered into a new millennium, and I was working my first real job. Not just any job, but a role in a global Oil and Gas company during my mandatory service year in Nigeria.
I was living the dream, working diligently, excitedly, and wholeheartedly in the Human Resources Department. I helped start the HR newsletter, supported recruitment scheduling and testing, and worked with visible passion every single day. I even dared to dream that one day I would become the General Manager of HR. I had my ducks all lined up. And what a time I had.
Then whispers of a merger began to circulate. I heard them and saw the concern on people's faces. But I was too naive and full of hope to understand what mergers really meant, so I carried on with life.
The merger happened. There was a significant shake-up. People were retired. Contracts were revoked or not renewed, yet I remained unperturbed. I believed in meritocracy. I was performing well. I was sure I was covered.
My contract ended and was not renewed.
My supervisor told me renewals would resume once the merger process was complete. So I went home and waited. Three months passed. Six months passed. My parents were concerned. But I held on tightly to my dream. I genuinely believed the call was coming.
It never came.
What I called hope had quietly become denial. The dream was real at first, but somewhere along the way, it left, and I chose not to see it. I stayed in my bubble, the one where I refused to let disruption in.
That is the power of denial.
Denial gives you an illusion of protection, a false hope. Almost like its Siamese twin, Shock. Both joined at the waist, working together, reflecting each other, but not quite the same. Shock allows you to land safely when life changes suddenly. Denial glides you slowly toward reality, buying you just enough time to catch your breath before the full weight of what happened becomes impossible to ignore.
Denial is a sheath. A temporary protection that shields you just long enough for what comes next. Eventually, the sheath becomes too thin, and reality breaks through, whether you are ready or not.
Here is the truth I want you to hear. Denial is not weakness. It is human. Give yourself grace for the time you spent there.
But also hear this. What you avoid, you extend. And sometimes, you need to let go of one thing to make room for something bigger.
The movement does not have to be dramatic. Just a shift, enough to start moving.
Have you ever held on to something, a job, a relationship, or a dream, longer than the signs were telling you to? I would love to hear your story in the comments.
To new chapters and bold transitions,
Dr. Tolu Rogers
Transformation and Transition Coach
Founder, The Chapter Shift