Welcome to my blog page- a safe space…
Writing is my safe place. It is what I do when I run into a wall and cannot figure out a way. I write when I am happy, reflective, or overwhelmed. I write to share my inner thoughts and experiences, and to share ideas and lessons. More importantly, I write to heal.
My intention is not just to create a blog but to build a community — a safe and enjoyable space for you to connect, reflect, and heal.
This is where I share written reflections on the emotions of change, the journey of transition, and the everyday experiences of navigating life. Every week, I publish a new piece exploring one aspect of what it means to move through change and come out the other side.
New posts drop every Wednesday. Animations from The Chapter Shift with Tolu Rogers series are available on YouTube and TikTok every Tuesday and on Instagram and LinkedIn every Wednesday.
Pull up a chair. You are not alone in whatever chapter you are navigating right now. Let us reflect, heal, transform, and grow together.
To new chapters and bold transitions
Tolu Rogers, Ph.D.
Transformation and Transition Coach | Helping you navigate transitions with clarity, confidence, and purpose | Founder, The Chapter Shift
Quote of the Week
The Chapter Shift with Tolu Rogers is a weekly animation series exploring the emotions we experience during life and career transitions. Each episode takes one emotion from the change curve and helps you understand it, name it, and move through it.
New episodes drop every Tuesday on YouTube and TikTok and every Wednesday on Instagram and LinkedIn.
Anger. The coat with many layers.
I don't have a vivid 'anger' story to tell in this piece. Not because I don't get angry, but because when I go through a denial episode, what comes next for me is deep reflection.
Denial. "Pretending Nothing Happened"
The year was 2000. We had just been ushered into a new millennium, and I was working my first real job. Not just any job, but a role in a global Oil and Gas company during my mandatory service year in Nigeria.
Shock. You don't see it coming.
It started as a regular Saturday morning. I had taken my daughter to the salon to fix her hair when I received the call that changed my life. My dad had stopped breathing, and the doctors were fighting to save him.
FEAR is a toothless bulldog. It's all in your mind.
In my last post, we examined how perspective shapes how we handle uncertainty. In the same vein, fear arises from our perception of the magnitude of a problem. This is not to say that perspective influences all fears. Some fears are genuine and aim to protect us from actual danger.
Growing through Uncertainty
“If I cease searching, then, woe is me, I am lost. That is how I look at it – keep going, keep going, come what may.” – Vincent van Gogh.
E.M.O.T.I.O.N.S
In my career and life journey, I have experienced pivotal transitions and met people who have also navigated significant life changes. One common experience shared by all is a wave of emotions that cannot be defined, along with the vulnerability that accompanies them.
Processing Transitions
I wish someone had prepared me for the emotional turmoil of leaving a long-held job. I thought I had it all ticked off and was looking forward to my next career phase. I wrongly assumed the next role would be as easily secured as the previous one. What I experienced was the reverse. Finding my next job took a long time, and I nearly lost myself in the process.
Ray & Emma
What happened to Ray?
Ray and Emma had waited a long time for a forever family. Their basic needs were met in their foster home, but something was still missing: tenderness, affection, and a sense of belonging. Every time a potential family came by, Ray and Emma would perk up with hope, as if saying, “Pick us.” But time and again, they were overlooked.